Losing a Child: Gaining Confidence to Face the Unknown

Imagine yourself totally outside your comfort zone. I never dreamed in a million years something like this would happen to me. My name is Darby, I am 27 years old and a stay at home mother of 4. I am going to share with you an experience that helped me find #mybrilliantconfidence.

3 ½ years ago we packed our things and moved our little family to Germany so my husband could attend a semester of school. My baby was two and I was three months pregnant. I knew we would only be away for six months, but the second we arrived in Paris I had never been so scared in my life.   

Living in Germany was really hard at times. I had moved away from all my family, friends and all that felt familiar to me. It pushed me to my limits. However, I grew and learned so much during those six months, I even had a little fun!

A week before we were scheduled to fly home (my baby was due in 5 weeks) I began having contractions. It was a Sunday afternoon. We were walking home from church when I began feeling discomfort. I assumed this was normal because I was active and walked a lot. But, as the day went on my contractions progressed. They had gotten so bad we decided I needed to go to the hospital. After an ultrasound and consulting with the doctors they delivered the most devastating news I will never forget. The baby girl I was supposed to deliver in just five short weeks had passed away. My beautiful baby daughter Hope was no longer with us but had gone home to live with her Father in Heaven.

I was living a nightmare. Not only did I just lose my baby, I was confined to a foreign hospital with flickering lights, dark hallways and a language barrier. I felt completely alone. In the midst of all this my two year old daughter had been with me the entire time. She had no idea what was happening and could sense my pain. Nothing can prepare you for the shock of losing a child and nothing can ever fill the hole I will forever feel in my heart. It hurts so much.

After three days of delivering baby Hope I was able to return home to family. We had a beautiful graveside service and buried her among family members. The entire time I still wondered how the pain would ever cease and I would get through all of this. Being with family helped me realize I would be ok.

Fast-forward three years. I have since had two more baby boys and am a much stronger and better person. Losing Hope stretched me in ways I never imagined, but I am proud to say I did make it through and am forever grateful for Hope.

Being somewhere unfamiliar and losing something so precious changed me. I have learned to take things as they come and live life with “hope.”

Things that used to scare me, like leaving family, moving to a foreign country and even losing a child has now given me the confidence to face the unknown with strength and courage. 

I have confidence in myself as a mother, a wife and as a woman that cannot be touched. I know without a doubt I have the strength to push through all that life throws at me.

And this is #mybrilliantconfidence story.

Everyone has a story. We at PMD Beauty want to know your #mybrilliantconfidence story. No matter what you are going through, someone out there has already experienced it and can relate to you perfectly. We invite all to share your #mybrilliantconfidence story. You have the ability to be a positive influence in the lives of others.

To share your #mybrilliantconfidence story and be featured on our IG and blog, please email us at: [email protected] and use #mybrilliantconfidence in the subject line.

One thought on “Losing a Child: Gaining Confidence to Face the Unknown

  1. Jessica Alexander says:

    Thank you Darby for sharing such a personal story with us. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a child, but we have all been blessed through this experience. Love you and your family!

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