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Losing a Child: Gaining Confidence to Face the Unknown

<span style="font-weight: 400">Imagine yourself totally outside your comfort zone. I never dreamed in a million years something like this would happen to me. My name is Darby, I am 27 years old and a stay at home mother of 4. I am going to share with you an experience that helped me find #mybrilliantconfidence. </span>

<span style="font-weight: 400">3 ½ years ago we packed our things and moved our little family to Germany so my husband could attend a semester of school. My baby was two and I was three months pregnant. I knew we would only be away for six months, but the second we arrived in Paris I had never been so scared in my life.   </span>

<span style="font-weight: 400">Living in Germany was really hard at times. I had moved away from all my family, friends and all that felt familiar to me. It pushed me to my limits. However, I grew and learned so much during those six months, I even had a little fun! </span>

<img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-253815" src="https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1407-500x333.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="333" srcset="https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1407-500x333.jpg 500w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1407-510x340.jpg 510w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1407-768x512.jpg 768w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1407-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1407.jpg 1257w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" />

<span style="font-weight: 400">A week before we were scheduled to fly home (my baby was due in 5 weeks) I began having contractions. It was a Sunday afternoon. We were walking home from church when I began feeling discomfort. I assumed this was normal because I was active and walked a lot. But, as the day went on my contractions progressed. They had gotten so bad we decided I needed to go to the hospital. After an ultrasound and consulting with the doctors they delivered the most devastating news I will never forget. The baby girl I was supposed to deliver in just five short weeks had passed away. My beautiful baby daughter Hope was no longer with us but had gone home to live with her Father in Heaven.</span>

<span style="font-weight: 400">I was living a nightmare. Not only did I just lose my baby, I was confined to a foreign hospital with flickering lights, dark hallways and a language barrier. I felt completely alone. In the midst of all this my two year old daughter had been with me the entire time. She had no idea what was happening and could sense my pain. Nothing can prepare you for the shock of losing a child and nothing can ever fill the hole I will forever feel in my heart. It hurts so much. </span>

<img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-253817" src="https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_0417-500x333.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="333" srcset="https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_0417-500x333.jpg 500w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_0417-510x340.jpg 510w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_0417-768x512.jpg 768w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_0417-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_0417.jpg 1257w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" />

<span style="font-weight: 400">After three days of delivering baby Hope I was able to return home to family. We had a beautiful graveside service and buried her among family members. The entire time I still wondered how the pain would ever cease and I would get through all of this. Being with family helped me realize I would be ok. </span>

<img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-253819" src="https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1193-500x375.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="375" srcset="https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1193-500x375.jpg 500w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1193-510x382.jpg 510w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1193-768x576.jpg 768w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1193-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/IMG_1193.jpg 1118w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" />

<span style="font-weight: 400">Fast-forward three years. I have since had two more baby boys and am a much stronger and better person. Losing Hope stretched me in ways I never imagined, but I am proud to say I did make it through and am forever grateful for Hope. </span>

<img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-253816" src="https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/DSC_7310-500x334.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="334" srcset="https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/DSC_7310-500x334.jpg 500w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/DSC_7310-510x341.jpg 510w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/DSC_7310-768x513.jpg 768w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/DSC_7310-1024x684.jpg 1024w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/DSC_7310.jpg 1255w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" />

<span style="font-weight: 400">Being somewhere unfamiliar and losing something so precious changed me. I have learned to take things as they come and live life with “hope.” </span>

<span style="color: #555555">I have confidence in myself as a mother, a wife and as a woman that cannot be touched. I know without a doubt I have the strength to push through all that life throws at me.</span>

<span style="font-weight: 400">And this is #mybrilliantconfidence story.</span>

<img class="wp-image-237864 aligncenter" src="https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/chat-logo-500x500.png" alt="" width="128" height="128" srcset="https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/chat-logo-500x500.png 500w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/chat-logo-247x247.png 247w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/chat-logo-510x510.png 510w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/chat-logo-300x300.png 300w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/chat-logo-768x768.png 768w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/chat-logo-1024x1024.png 1024w, https://pmdbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/chat-logo.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 128px) 100vw, 128px" />

Everyone has a story. We at PMD Beauty want to know your #mybrilliantconfidence story. No matter what you are going through, someone out there has already experienced it and can relate to you perfectly. We invite all to share your #mybrilliantconfidence story. You have the ability to be a positive influence in the lives of others.

To share your #mybrilliantconfidence story and be featured on our IG and blog, please email us at: [email protected] and use #mybrilliantconfidence in the subject line.